♥ ®. Jesmay™ ♥

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Melaka, Malaysia
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Friday, July 31, 2009

Eehhhkkmm...




Ms J..
Unlike it..
Please..'take away'..

Why re-happen again?
Why like that...
I hope many ppl join n eat together too...not only just with u
Why be with me so shame for u?..
I dun hope to recover my feeling now..
Yea..I'm angry...
Very angry...Why...
When in the moment i dun wan alone..
U GO FAR AWAY FROM ME...
Why...
at the moment of i truly need someone accompany..
That person sure not u?!..
I hope on that time...the person share anything is u..
But...
It doesn't happen before until now...
Fine....
U HAVE UR OWN LIFE..
i nothing to said about it...u have ur frd...
So...just leave me.....
and when i ask u...
sure u'll said...
'u have ur frd mah........neh..jt...tb...gs.......'
ALWAYS...u SAID LIKE THIS...
what can i said?...
Something else make me dun wan to talk to u..
Maybe this is my CHILDREN THINKING...whatever...sry
D''''''''''' again.....
Normal for me.....
Ur action will slowly change me step by step..
and maybe one day u will notice at me
by 'why/how can she change until like this?'
I dunno...
I think i am changing to be more cool...
More selfish..More evil...
More dissapear suddenly without telling u anything.....
U hope this happen?...i thnk nothing for u...
I'm there u normal..I'm not there u also STILL NORMAL..
nothing has change...
I dun hope to change until that...
But how?
Nobody care about me....
I'm loser...I'm ugly....no one need me...
So....who care how i change?...
So..i just continue being evil...
Continue eat more be super fat....thn die=)

Make me D..
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yao Hao invite me to his hse eat..
but feel like...Yen go better...i....dunno how to said...
Than...half way..saw gor ao weng them...
i ask them weader..
How back or wad...they go to eat...
thn bac...but gor stay in sch FOR SOMEONE...
So..i ntg to said...
Unlucky....when i turn bac my bus was gone..Damn..
So..sit at there...talking wif classmate...
call mummy....than...saw gs...
He said 3.00pm only he go in to sch...
great...can accompany wait mummy until 2.00pm..
Even JiaHuey also busy about her frd thing...haiixx......
Can't accompany me...
At last...many frd go...stay...go...stay...
And i sitting at there n beside is gs....
He also dunno wad to do same as me.....
We sit at there wait his uncle take his hp here..
Saw LaLa people....hate smoke smell!
Gs said they're so.....'geli'........by texting in my hp msg for me..

Finally...his uncle reach at 1.30pm...=.=
half more hour i wanna bac edi...
Reach McD saw Gor again....
We call 2 Mc-Flurry Choc Conneto...rm10=.=
He gonna belanja me nxt week.....
Find a place at up stairs chat...*reminded me something n someone
Why he can accompany me..u can't?..rushing bac...do nothing?..
Fine....I dunwan later argue about this....just very D...
Gs do his own note...He is preparing to his pmr..
But...what i do?...thinking of those thing...I'm such a loser...
Than...i just enjoy my Ice-cream..looking around...
Damn...why all group around me is.........
what i hope..i can do like this with someone....

Table 1-a group with few person..doing revision,teaching each other..
(dunwan to see edi..later i D coz of can't like that with someone)

Table 2-a gang of boy..one is the basketball player in Pandan Indah sch..
they're very geng.....eatting and haveing fun...playing with their frd..
(again...i hope i can like this so much too...Damn..)

Table 3-few frd and also their parents eat together..chat...know each other...
(I hope my mum know someone mum too...coz..really wan to thanks to someone mum)

........Damn.............
Dunwan To See anymore...
ALL IS WHAT I WISH..
come out in true life...but..not happen on me..
I just b the 'side people'...i hate this feel...haixx.....
Why Why Why....
I'm a LOSER...

Take some pic of Gs hp..

(few more..upload when i can)


Still in not really good mood...
Fine..just treat it nothing...
Way walk to school..
Saw my Pandan Indah WG kaki gor..* the name I call he =)
Cause now day heard something about this gor..
He msg me few day before...Only i know..
he had stop studying...wad...so waste...
But..he wan to stop it..hope he'll back sch soon..
And...i heard from senior...my this gor had colour his hair...
Finally..i saw he today....
really accidently...I dun even know wil meet he at here..
Quiet ok......at least not as whole head colour or what...
we chat under sun in front SJK sch for few minute..=.=
He find his gf take bday..only i know today was his bday...
~HAPPY BDAY GOR~

Way to bac sch saw Mr R n suetmun them~
Back to school...
wait at bus stop ALONE too...
Saw my form2 de 'ji mui'(male)..
Cause last time they so naughty...now more mature..
Meet TikSang..YanTong them.....
Saw SY Gor..accidently too=.='
I really dunno they not yet bac...
Chat with he...he said wanna bac by my car=.=
He said he was so tired...so just fetch he bac home..
thanks mummy=)

*sry if i said anything hard to hear..I dun hope argue..sorry..

2 comments:

  1. 'u have ur frd mah........neh..jt...tb...gs.......'

    "u hav fren"
    isn't you forgot u say to me?

    u hav to know

    i'm not a ppl wit open in mind,action and all

    i'm a 自卑 and 自闭 d you already forgot?

    i'm not like to 1 or 2 ppl 1 group

    maybe sometime or someday will

    but now no

    i better to my self 1 ppl if ony 2 ppl 1 group

    and i like those like 5 ppl and i jus see and never talk

    dunno y i like to b like that (mean a invisible ppl in a group of ppl)

    so
    ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes..i said b4..
    "I have frd.."
    but most good n important is who?
    Why can't the most i hope just treat me better than other?.
    I have frd..true..but..they have THEIR FRD TOO..
    and for me..who is a group & close as THEIR FRD?
    Maybe I have many many 'yao qiu' for my the most important frd...
    What can i do?..Dunno..

    ReplyDelete