Tired + sick...

Read suetee wretch just now...
And...view many people blog or whatever...
And..Their blog..
Make me think many many things...
Hear song...play till..
Fish Leong-'Fen Shou Kuai Le'
and 'Di Shan Zhe'
That feel come back again....
Than...
Lam Fong n Vincy-'after tmr'
Again....
I notice that..
my mood...keep 'recycle'..
Normal....Moody...Sad...maybe sometimesTEars...




I really Change a lot....
I hate my change...
Change to cry easily....
Change always moody...
Change be so stupid...
Change....
WHY..

I hate myself
little matter....
Than...
feel like...
'suan suan de'...
tears LOVE me very much..
Maybe since small...
I won't cry easily...
Even parents scold me until how..
I'm still stand at there...
let them scold or what...
I unlike people cry...
Little matter just know cry...
But...
I think..
Now i'm the person who last time i hate...
Last time i was a happy people...unlike people cry...

Tired..
I'm very very tired...
I dun wan cause of some thing...
Make me sad...tears out...
make me think much..make me hurt...
I feel that...
I'm Just the stupid...
sad...tears out about our thing...
for sure...i dun hope u unhappy..
but..ur attitude..
look as...
'I'm nothing..i'm still going on my life...play game...sms...ex.......'
I feel that i'm just the one...
Keep sad and sad and sad about it....
tears out and out...no one know...
but in the same time...
u was playing or msg-ing happily...
Is this fair?..
I unlike....Hurt....
Why everything was not fair for me...
Why some one hurt u badly...until now...
u still care about her...u still..............................
Why I'm by ur side...but is just totally transparent..
Why i'm sad....u still can smile happily...i hope u happy...true...
but ur smile seems like...'u sad ur thing i happy my thing'..
I keep think that i'm wrong...
But...is u right at all?...
I dunno....
Maybe too protect about u...
I have many hurt.....was blooding...
Why just i protect u.....U just nothing about this...
U're so selffish...this was what i wan to said...sorry....

The thing i feel very hurt...
For u...
just 'oh...no la...X just blablabla........'
Why?..
Am i stupid?
Am i sensitive?
Am i think too much..
But..why the feel hurt so strong?...
I can't even open my eye...
to see...what happen...
U still enjoying ur life....
U leave hurt for me...u go away...
U make me sad...u smile happily.....
U make me change into less msg...but almost everytime many people find u....
Until u can't even re my msg....
U still dreaming and happy about maybe ur 'super star'...I'm bside moodying..

Am i think too much?...
Why just me ALONE sad..
about what is going to happen/happening...
My sick...keep follow me..
seriously....dunno why...
everytime when i'm sad-ing...
I will feel very very 'shaking'...
My mum saw it too...
she ask me what happen..
why suddenly the 'pin xue' sick...
so serious...
she ask...
Am i eat less....
I dunno....just no 'wei kou' to eat...
at home....all the food my gor's mum cook...
I will leave many many for my mum....
What i eat?...nothing...
I din even have 'wei kou'...
Really.....unlike the food taste without reason..
malay frd said i slim so much....
Ballet and Bally teacher also......am i?
Dunno..just feel....dun wan to eat...
I just notice that...
my face...seems like no colour...
no colour...seems like sick/dieing....
My lips keep dry and no colour....
Mummy and aunt said too...
my face are 'green' in colour...
looks like very sick
Really?..dunno...i just few i'm so tired...

Why?...
cause of i think too much?
maybe..
But...
what u did it?
I'm confuse....
People said.....
'If once u get lie,the other time sure u will think much about that'
Is true...
Why...
I just feel like...
I'm lieing by other...
People said in front me...
'U're the most important...'
'when i'm boring...find u.....'
'Dun forget about our......'
Is sweet and touched...
when i first hear/receive those kind of msg....
But...the following msg or what...
Looks like....u're just said those for no meaning...
Is nothing for u....u just said/type ONLY....
Not really from ur heart....
WHat is the meaning of T.R.U.S.T
Why...
I'm just who still continue trust u....
Even other ppl...ur nearest frd...
Also tell me.....what u did is just LIE........
I know...i feel too...(for us)
But...WHy
I still continue and continue trusting u...
Everytime i tell myself to dun trust u...
But my mind...
will automaticly think...
'maybe this time he is not lieing..'
'give he one more chance...dun later regret of not trusting he'
'maybe he have something....can't tell....but he is true'
EVERY TIME...
I WILL SAID THE ALL THIS TO MYSELF
TO TRUST U...
I GAVE U MANY CHANCE
BUT....my action true or false?
Why...i feel that...
what i do...
Just make myself hurt more and more badly..

I keep saying sorry to u..
Is that really my fault?