Sorry..i failed again..

Just 15minute before..
I post up..
and said that..
I had promises my frd..
to be happy to find rainbow..
Yes,I Do..
sure i'm finding..
But..
I failed again for now..
sorry..I just feel..
again..
Tears like me..
It wan let go of me..
Always...like out from my eye..
Pain...truly pain..
What should i do.....
I know something..and..
if i keep trying to know more clearly..
If brings hurt...
But...loser me still will going on..
to the..'death way'..
than..only like now...
sad-ing at here....
Hard to let go...But I MUST..
I know i must..
Yes..i hope it happen..
But does it possible?..
The answer is in front of me..
Just i..dun wan to face it...
Cause of.....
Dun hope to lost again something else..
Not much to said..
I try to control myself now..
Does everything will be alright?..
Hope..