Hard to be happy

Why...
why why...
why why why....
I even cnt tell myself what was happening..
why i so moody?..can smile happily n suddenly change sad hurtly..
when i became like this?..
When i start to smile and almost keep silent for time to time...
What is all about this?...who else can tell me?
Even i also duno why like this..
SOME frd they noe little little bit abt me..they..wan me to..4get 'he'..
Are my problem came out bcz of 'he'...
Why he always let me dissapointed and i.........
Why....myb many guy i can choose..but...why..My heart choose 'he'?..
I dunwan...'he' change some part of me...but..why..
why...I cnt understand what was he thnking..
How was "Jesmay" in his heart...frd??...classmate??...sister??...or...whatelse..

Many this kind of problem follow me thins FEW WEEK..i felt i'm unnormal...but..cnt tell any1 else..coz they saw me smile happily but dint saw me hurt badly in my heart...*some1 asked me during this few week..but..i duno how to ans...sry...i duno how to tell u...

This few weeks..all this problem follow me 24hours...than what i do is..keep silent..n always sleep sleep and sleep..hope after i waked up another day..the world will change..The problem will go away...But..Does not...some times..myb whn i'm alone...whn i saw something/some1....or myb whn i try to close my eye go to sleep..this all problem will say hi to me again..

Duno all this problem will follow me til whn..1 mth??..1yr??...or more??..
What can i say..'i duno'.....why i b like this?..Should i hate it whn i noe who force me like tat??...I duno...

I just keep silent silet and silent...some senior saw me too..they will ask what happen to me...n what i say..ntg...and also try to tell joke..smile..be stupid...but..all i do it to let them dun worry wbt e..made them more felt that i have a seriuos problem...and super unnormal..haiz..

(what 'he' giv me...tell me..most is from the girl..i noe some little little part of my problem is coz of this)....i damn her..why..at first..is she hurt he...but...haiz....dun wanna talk abt this..i duno what happen to me...

seriously...guys..for now...i really hard to be happy like last time...
And also ** guys...pls dun ask me who is 'he'..who is she this kind of question....
Sry if what i say myb make u guy angry or what...dun ask me abt them...