你总是不坦白

♥我的回忆不是我的♥vincyˇ海鸣威-ING...........
Love so much that song..
Dunno why..
TOucheD me~
And....
Suddenly..
Yesterday that time..
Erm...Tears time feeling some back..
But...
I'm alright guys =*)
Just feel that..
'How can i tear like that..?'
unbelievable..
Cause...I'm a smily face girl..

Suddenly..
remember that..
Yesterday..I'm 'nap-ing' at my table..
(Is tearsing truly)
I saw..my own tears..
One by one fall and fall...
and..maybe cause of my skin was quiet white..
So..
Yen told me yesterday..
My face was very red..(she know i'm tearsing)




FIne...
Dun continue said..
I know..
My dear friend..
Dunwan me to think those sad things..
They wan my smile my teeth..*GGgggg~*
So...
Today...I'm ok...
Maybe some sad things..
'drop' follow by my tears yesterday..
So..is better than yesterday..
I wan to see Rainbow...
Tell me the direction to find =)

Thanks..
I think..Maybe..
I should do something about it...
U wake me up..
Ur word..maybe got..
'Maksud tersurat'...
I'll try to get it...Give me time patiently..
Maybe...There will come out another way...
For u and me..
A change from X to XX...
a new begin..
I dunno...That's was future thing..



To Mr SeongHooi..
Maybe...it have some change..
Maybe......
This is just the time raining...
Hardly big heavy rain...
Than...maybe..
after this...see the rainbow without let go of the pain..
People said..
" If really can't let go,why not just continue..and maybe can make self more happy"
U must add oil..
I'll too...we keep in touch..
cause..quiet complicated..and hard to said...=)
Find ur rainbow too by ur angle's wing..

Raining day bring a tearsing face..

Sorry..
I Failed again..
I really dun hope like this..
but..lost control again of myself..

Sometimes..
see something dun hope to watch it too much..
I hope that I'm blind..
Sometimes..
know somethings too much..
but keep it in the heart day by day...
It may cause death or creak in the heart..

Until one day..
The person...
who keep act blinding saw too many things...
It will cry...
The person...
who keeping something about the person emotion..
or sadness even some secret...
One day...
The person will totally lost control...

Maybe..
I'm saying about myself..
I'm the person who i said...
Had Lost Control..

Today..
I'm not really feel well..
cause of somewhere pain...
And..last nite mood...
was still stick with me..
I can't even breath..
But...think about something..
I think i may go to school...
I can't leave Yen alone..

Yen know my mood..
was bad...and know...
where were i hurt and the feeling of pain..
She was a nice friend for me..
Feel thanks and touched..
when she was helping me...
when she protecting me...
when the moment we sad together cause of..
the same name person...and..
what happen on she or me...
Each other will know other problem...
and try to help other..
Thanks...I like Yen,my dear friend..

She suddenly...
told me something...
She said...
'I never see a girl as strong and tough as u before...
How can u din ever tears in front of me..
and keep continue try you best to solve the problem..
u had face...U din even angry or what about the problem...
But..u more strong and more brave....U're really a great person...'

Dunno why..
Just feel like..
FINALLY...
got a person know..
why am i change or emo so seriously..
or even how pain and the time had i keep..
be strong no cry and continually step more in front of it..

She know my feel..
Maybe cause of..
we have the almost same reason..
and face the almost same name guy..
And...the problem that following by them..

THANKS..
I think..maybe she know how suffer are me..
and said those word..to let me...
unlock my tears..and let it go once seriously..
than..after this...she wan me to..
LET GO of all of that..

She accompany me...
At the same place as the 1st time..
I tears at sch...because of the same person..
and almost same reason..
Truly...have many memory and sense.
come out that time...She keep chat with me..
For slowly change my mind to think those things..
And when we walk through out of form5 student class..
A malay male teacher saw me..
and keep asking me why am i tearsing..
I Just keep silent and walk away...
sorry teacher...

She know..
that..i wan so much..
to see the colour of rainbow.....
She said...
If wan to see..
'U MUST LET GO..'
only...can see a most beautiful rainbow in the world..

My ugly tearsing face seem by many form5..
that was so ugly....I dun wan people to saw my sadness side..
I just wan them to be happy...

After school..
as normal...I'm waiting...
Yen said that...
why must me wait again...
she said...for what...
She keep pull me away form waiting...

But..
who know..
equally..I'm wan to let someone know..
Your friend was at there waiting for u..Mr.J..
If I waiting..he will follow me waiting for u..
So...Yen..
that's why..i can't stop waiting...
Cause i wan someone know..
No matter what happen...
Yous frd..Mr.J...will always by ur side..
You're Not Alone...
Dun think negatively...
No matter how shit u think about me...
I dun care...
The main point is..
U..still have ur best frd..Mr.J..
are always by ur side...
Hate me is true for u..
Just do it...
hate me evily...

Sorry..i failed again..

Just 15minute before..
I post up..
and said that..
I had promises my frd..
to be happy to find rainbow..
Yes,I Do..
sure i'm finding..
But..
I failed again for now..
sorry..I just feel..
again..
Tears like me..
It wan let go of me..
Always...like out from my eye..
Pain...truly pain..
What should i do.....
I know something..and..
if i keep trying to know more clearly..
If brings hurt...
But...loser me still will going on..
to the..'death way'..
than..only like now...
sad-ing at here....
Hard to let go...But I MUST..
I know i must..
Yes..i hope it happen..
But does it possible?..
The answer is in front of me..
Just i..dun wan to face it...
Cause of.....
Dun hope to lost again something else..
Not much to said..
I try to control myself now..
Does everything will be alright?..
Hope..

Thanks to SH...

To Jesmay

I Tried My Best To Find The Rainbow

Realy Hard To Find One

Haha

Try To Find You One Soon

But

My Heart Have Found The Rainbow

What About You

Promise Me De Wor

Let Go Of It

And Life Your Life Happily

Jesmay:
Thanks........
I already promise u..
I'll try my best..
Thanks for wishes and also supporting..
I copy this part from ur blog..
Hope u dun mind..
Just hope to said...
THANK YOU
Jesmay always support u..

1st change in blog

Just feel..

maybe..is the time..

to turn my blog other style

since i first started to write blog..

and...this is just the 1ST time i change it..

Dunno why..

just feel like..wanna change it..

But..maybe..

Was not really nice..

Tell me you guys opinion..

Thanks...

Few day din write blog..

Maybe someone waiting....just maybe..

Happened something..

But..

I not fully understand..

what..u want to tell me....

Hard to 'open' the secret of..every word u had said..

But..

I just can tell u...

I'm really TOUCHEd and.....thanks..

People who know us/around us..

I mean saw we or what...

They always hope something happen on us..

But..

Is impossible i know..

'Wo Bu Pei'

I'm Waiting..

I dunno who to said by face to face..

or should said...

I keep run or skip this problem...

U just be brave...

I think...i can...hope i can...

M**Dy find me again

I dun hope..
every time...will happen all of this..
Who..save me..no one..
I hate it..
Why..
At SOME moment..
Sure see something..
Something..i dun wish to saw it..
At SOME moment..
Sure happen/meet..
something...I dun hope too..






*we can't change every things..
that happen/happening...
even dun hope about that..
but..we can't control it..
the 'click' was in our luck..
but why...sure I'm the unlucky person..
Always I'm the loser..always me the one tears out..
why me?..why?..I dun understand...
where did i lose?
what was the reason?..
when i begin continuously like this?
Why every time..saw that thing..
sure feel like..sad or D something...

What can i said?..
Just keep it in heart?..
But..a heart can keep how many knife in it?..
If slightly touch..the knife will come out through the surface
than..begin blooding..blooding and blooding...
Why.....Many question in my life...
Many thing happen without reason...
Change suddenly without reason...
I moody-ing without reason..*or should said something complicated

"yes..i am"
(many ppl ask me something same..about something..)
This the only answer...I just said ONCE..
because after this...it might change..
I hope next time i answer when people asking..
my answer will be
'where got..i already have...'
*only people who asked me before know about what I'm saying

Watch
我的回忆不是我的 MV..
Truly..this song..
have many memory and touching my heart..
when I'm 1st liston this song...
It word full of meaning..or maybe should said..
Is suitable for me...
Those memory..really not mine..
I might know this truly...
One day...those memory..
I can sure...it will just bring hurt to me..
Every word they sang...almost..
reminded me many thing about it...


Te--ing again..why..
I really...easily get hurt....
Not cause of who...just..something bring hurt to me...
every time......
how can my form3 life become like this.....
My luck i think...
I'm a LOSER..


8 years to go...*
I still gonna wait for 8 year..
Only....will come out...help me...
Heard some one said..8 year....
In this 8year what will happen?..
Or ...i just wait for 8 year only..something dream come true..
I dun hope in this 8 year..I'm alone..i really dun wish it..
But for now...seems like...true..I will be alone...

Every place...
almost..remind me something..
when those memory happening in which place..
what we doing in those memory..
which happiness during memory happening..
EVERY WHERE..
I saw THE-PAST-MEMORY..
why..in those memory place...
Many sense touching my heart...
Remind me....LAST TIME...something happen at here..
What in the memory....suddenly lost...be far and far away from me..
And..i just keep looking at other...
what their action..is same...as MY-PAST-MEMORY...
For now...something causehestarted have distant with me...
Started away far and far from me...started my lonely and full of sadness road..
I know..i can't stop it..this is life..
But..

If really god wan to take of something on me...
Can that not be my those memory and u?...
It just make me die many many time on it...


In front of people..
I'm a popular person..
Back of people..
I'm just such a loser...


D D D..
what can i do..
i have too many D in my life..
how to throw it?

I said much..
something causehenothing to said..
I hurt more..
Not pain at out...but is inner part..
who know..no one....
receive msg from Yen..
poor..why..always...just girl get hurt...
Something happen on she n...
I really feel tear rollin in eye and very sad about life..
why..why life are so unhappy and unlucky FOR ME?
why treat me like that?

Why..
The main reason is what?
Why..
Always..I'm the loser..
Why..
For u...forever..I'm transparent..
Why..
I so shit so cause i lose?

I know..
not every thing i must win..
But...
why must every time..
I must be THE LOSER....
T----..
Dun wish to write more..
I'm just transparent..